Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I Gotta Run

Sometimes I go through spells where I just have to run. Walking won't do. Jogging won't help. I need a good run. A hard sweat. A pounding heartbeat. And while I'm running, I need to have some good R&B music vibrating my eardrums to the point of damaging them--give me Keith Sweat, Guy, Jodeci, New Edition, R.Kelly, BBD, Mint Condition, Aaron Hall, Jaheim, Silk, H Town (Kockin' Da Boots, baby, remember that song?) .... And maybe a little Jay-Z. And not new school Jay-Z, I'm talking his first album, true hardcore hip-hop. Just give me the music. And I'm off. Off to my running thoughts. My dreams. When I'm running it's a meditation. I see clearly and think clearly. I know who I am, what I should be doing, and what I'm capable of. I'm on my stationary treadmill...so I set my eyes on a fixed point...that point usually starts to resemble something...a few lint spots on the couch start to look like a smile. I stay fixed on that point. My arms cutting through the air and sending a smooth breeze past me. My neck is strong, my legs solid. I'm in the stride. I just have to run. Sometimes I look up and two hours have passed--just in the zone. When it's all over, I'm rejuvenated (like I was when this spurt happened on Sunday night) or I'm overly tired, kinda sick, and sore all over (like what happened last night). But the end feeling isn't what matters. I was running. And in the moment, nothing was as exhilarating.