long day
watched Sir playing with kids at neighbor's family reunion cookout
watched closely
watched him being a boy
not a newborn
not an infant
not a toddler
not even just a child
but specifically...
a boy.
he's a boy
and boy am i blessed
there are moments when Sir and I are around childless folks and i worry
i worry because he's a BOY
a wild, silly, busy, throwing, touching, breaking, hitting, kicking
BOY
there are moments when Sir and I are around folks who have "mannered/tamed" kids
and i worry because he truly LIVEs OUT LOUD WITHOUT ANY APOLOGY
as a child should live
as adults SHOULD live
i worry that he's living too much
that his living might annoy others who don't live
i worry to the point of making myself ill, secluding myself
when he was born i knew he wasn't gonna be one of those "easy" babies
i asked God for forgiveness for all the other folks with "busy" children whom i'd judged
heck, when he was in the womb, i should have known by how ill i was that he would be a live-out-loud kind of guy
and i love him
i love him when he approaches folks and doesn't care about invading their personal space
i love him when he's pushing his friends and STRANGERS around
i love him when he gets upset that others are pushing him around
i love him because he makes me reevaluate my sheepish ways
i love him because he teaches me acceptance and patience
i love him because he is sooooo not me
i love him for him
and to all of you folks out there with "quiet and always obedient children"...
watch out! Sir might come for a visit and rock your world...
the way he's rocked mine
and i am thankful.

here's to making folks nervous and living out loud without apology.

Miss Nikki Ann, the mother of a boy