Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Do you often forget that there is a person with emotions, on the other end?

I wish I could, it would mean less anxiety for me. I am so concerned about emotions that I often miss out on a lot, just not wanting to be around folks, thinking about how much emotional energy it takes to be with people. I have an illness that affects my nervous system, so my "normal" heart rate runs 100 to 140 all the time (even lying down). My doctors say that this has a lot to do with why I feel so overwhelmed by what would appear to be "easy" social gatherings.

So I try not to be so hard on myself and my judgement of what emotions I "think" I might encounter just by venturing out...let's say...to the grocery store. I'm worried that the cashier might take the way I hand her the money wrong, or that I'll offend a fellow shopper by being in the way. So emotions are an issue. And I wish I could forget sometimes. Just let go.