Saturday, October 21, 2006

I'm Trying To Kill Myself...

With Fear:

Fear that I won't get enough sleep. Fear that I won't have enough energy to give to Sir during the day. Fear that I won't be able to accomplish any tasks. Fear that Sir will be fussy and temperamental all day. Fear that his bad attitude will lead me to want to knock him the hell out. Fear that I'll never finish editing my book. Fear that my writing will never generate any cash flow. Fear that I'm not helping folks realize their desires. Fear that I can't hold the high vibration of love for more than a few seconds. Fear that I'll never make it a full day without feeling down. Fear that I am misunderstood. Fear that I have too much faith in my faith. Fear that to be at my optimal health would mean sacrificing things I use as crutches. Fear that if I leave the house after noon, there will be too many people on the streets for my timid personality to bear. Fear that someone will try to project their negative energies my way. Fear that I know all of these fears are fake, but that if I wake from them, I'll truly have to live.

I Fear...


And thus, unconsciously, I spend my days slowly trying to kill myself.


Ultimately, my fears are lies; and my blessed greatness is where my truth resides.

So God sends my Spirit to say to me: "Miss Nikki Ann, I dare You to be great."

And My reply is: "I accept the challenge."

And Spirit confirms: "Then it is already done."