Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Mourning Mr. P

Isom's taking a nap on my lap and I'm sitting here mourning. Today I've gotten quite a few emails regarding my brother and Thembi's wedding and Thembi's shower (both which will be memorable events). The more I read, the more my heart sank. Let's be honest, I'm mourning the loss of my brother.

I know he ain't dead, but soon he'll be moving out of the house to begin his journey with Thembi (whom we in Connecticut call Tee Tee, and heck, we've never asked if she likes the name or not!).

I've know Tee Tee since I was in the 7th grade or so--she's gorgeous, smart and totally amazing. So Preston's made a great match, it's just that for so long, aside from my mom, I'd been his main lady. And it's not about all the lavish trips and gifts he's showered on me (and y'all, that amounts to more money than I care to count...Cancun, Bahamas, Costa Rica...!), but it's about how close we've been BEFORE I was born. For those who don't know, my brother is the one who named me. To recount a bit of the story, mom says that she'd questioned four-year-old Preston as to whether or not he was sure he wanted my name to be Nikki and not Nicole. He assured her that Nikki was the name he wanted, and I've been stuck with it for life. I say stuck because folks want so badly to call me Nicole, they just assume Nikki's a nickname. (FYI: In Greek, Nikki means victory of the people).

Like I was saying, my brother was an awesome older sibling. He wasn't the type that didn't want his bratty sister with him. That boy would bring me any and everywhere with him. When we were younger we used to sleep in the same bed on Christmas Eve and we'd discuss Santa and his reindeer, and in the later years we exchanged information on the gifts we'd found hidden around the house. When he reached driving age, and I was in Junior High School, he'd come to my school and take me out of my classes to go to the mall (he was only four years ahead of me, so all of my teachers knew him). Then when he'd come home on breaks from college at FAMU, he'd call up to my High School and tell the teachers that I needed an early dismissal. Man was he cool!

I loved my brother's gear, and I'd cry to my mom if he didn't let me borrow any of his Beneton or Izod stuff. Devilish P! Yup, that was his nickname. Devilish P. As a toddler they called him Peanut. My Peanut. My protector. The dude who made all of the wrong moves and mistakes so that I didn't have to trip over the same bumps in the road. I thank him for crashing the Volvo into a snow bank, for coming home pissy drunk in high school and asking me to spray the room with Lysol, for wasting a couple of years at FAMU partying and drinking his ass off. Thank you P! Thank you for making this friggin'' life of mine lush, lavish, luxurious, and interesting. I know you're in good hands with my sister, Thembi, but your presence in the house will be missed.

No more being paid $20 a week just to make your bed. No more dropping you off to work so that I can borrow your hot ride. No more spending summer days flossing in your ride like it was mine, rolling down Main Street chillin' in the Volvo with the sunroof open. No more sneaking money from your hidden stash and never paying you back!

But, let's look at the flip side. I'm gaining a brother who has the strength and COURAGE to become a man. When he'd told mom and I that he was gonna ask Tee Tee to marry him, I told him, "I'm proud of you, you've chosen one of the TWO hardest things to do--be married and have a baby." So hats off to him for taking a leap into his manhood. Hats off to him for being a black brother who's doing the damn thing. And like I've told him in a private conversation we had over the phone last year, "If you do ANYTHING to mess up and I find out, you'd better run and tell Thembi, 'cause as soon as I get wind of it, I'm gonna tell her! Once you've married Thembi, she becomes my sister, and I wouldn't let anyone hurt my sister. The same way that I protect you, is that same way that I'm gonna protect her. You've chosen marriage, so do the damn thing right, if not, that means ya' need to stay single."

Well, it's after 3 p.m. Preston'll probably be home in the next hour or so. He'll either come home and have our cousin Tony trailing right behind him (they'll be arguing about something) or he'll come in by himself, peep his head into this room where I'm working, and say something really rude and foul, which will wake Isom up and cause me to say something foul back to him. *sigh* Can't you just smell the love in the air?

Phew! This was a mouthful. I'm glad that I got it out and I feel better. But damn, I'mma miss robbin' him of his cashflow! LOL!

Shout out to my sister Thembi! It's almost time to kiss your toad and turn him into a Prince.