Wednesday, March 01, 2006


I'm a little unstable today. I'm talking about that instability that comes out of nowhere and whacks you in the face. I had good rest Tuesday night. I had a nap this afternoon. Nothing significant transpired in my day. But! I'm unstable. My mind is in fifty different places, trying to do 50 different things, and getting nowhere. Unstable. I just want to weep. Weep for no reason. I'm a little on edge. I'm a little frustrated. And I know what it'll take to end this feeling, but I don't want to do it just yet. I want to live in the rawness of it all. I want to feel vulnerable. I don't want to be a rock. I just want to be for a minute.

Wait, let me just sit here and feel this instability...

...Times up.

I'm now typing this with glazed eyes. As I sat here and meditated, I felt the pressure. The pressure of life. It's an unseen thing that can creep in on you. I sensed those who are far from me. I sensed their struggle and my own. I feel you guys. I know you're trying. I know it seems that you're just not getting ahead.

Now I have better understanding. Now I think I'm ready. I'm ready to quiet the alarm. I'm ready to silence the thing that triggered my instability. Let's stop for a minute...

A deep breath in.

Hold that breath at the center point of the top of your forehead (your third eye).

Now release that breath.

Take another in and hold it at your third eye.

Release it. And while doing so, relax your neck and shoulders.

Take another in and hold it again.

And as you release this one tell yourself to relax.

Now, return to your regular breathing.

Take a look around the room. Take a good look and open your ears to the natural sounds in the room. Orient yourself to the space you're in...

...Wow, I feel better already.

Now, let me walk through the rest of the FREEDOM Steps.

1. Focus: (I did this with the breathing exercise)

2. Recognize what triggered your stress alarm: (My trigger was having moved Isom to his room.)

3. Evaluate your emotions: (I'm feeling unstable because I'm mourning the loss of Isom being a newborn.)

4. Evaluate your thoughts: (I'm so in love with Isom and the feeling is so new/overwhelming/life changing that it throws "my being" off.)

5. Define your goal: (To enjoy every moment of Isom's short infancy).

6. Organize your options: (Cuddle and love on him as much as possible. Continue to do fun activities together. Give in to the mushy feelings and admit to the world how in love I am--so in love that I hate that I can no longer cuddle with him at bedtime.)

7. Make a Contribution: (Allowing him to sleep in his room gives us both the proper sleep we need to function so that we can enjoy each other during the day.)

Phew! I feel better now. I feel relaxed and focused.

I made a post out of this exercise so that you guys can see how I utilize my work with Kathy to stay de-stressed. I hope you all can find some use for this FREEDOM tool.

I'm off to edit my book. But before I do, I'd like to say that AP and Erica were in my thoughts today. As I sat here and meditated, I thought about you two and all of the work and effort you're putting into your talents. You guys are prevailing. There's a storm building up, and all you guys need to do is ride the momentum of it. Your talent is unmatched.

Here a link to AP's recent piece titled The Good Man: Let me tell you all that it is amazing. Take a minute to check it out and leave her some comments.

I gotta go y'all.

"Let's keep doing the damn thing!"