Saturday, June 30, 2007

Oh boy! Somebody's always got to mess it up for the rest of us...

Okay, so today I was a bit disturbed to find that my blog was being viewed by waaay too many people from all parts of the world. After a little research, I realized that they must have done some kind of search and came upon a picture that I'd posted here that was from another website. It was the picture of the mother nursing her toddler and newborn at the same time. I don't know if someone got a kick out of it and then emailed it to friends across the world, but they all came to my site to view this picture.

The problem? It puts me at risk. I post way too many private and personal things (pictures of my son and so forth). I in no way want to exploit me, my family, friends or blogging buddies. And though I am not about censorship, I'm smart enough to draw the line when safety becomes an issue.

Obviously I've taken down the picture to avoid any further connections with it. And it seems that someone took it upon themselves to block the page or something, maybe the person who actually owned the photo.

I do this blogging thing to entertain and maybe lend a crazy hand to those I know. I believe that if too many things are kept in the dark, it hinders progress. Meaning, something that I'm going through could help someone else. So I try not to hold back, showing all the lovable and less-than-lovable sides of Miss Nikki Ann. But I'd shut dis bitch down before I put anyone I know in harms way. Quick and simple.

This internet thing can be fun BUT dangerous. And most of us using it are just innocent everyday people who don't have a full understanding of the precarious situations we put ourselves in everyday we log on (see this article: Dangers of Personal Blogging). I keep taking chances with the internet with the idea that there is more good than evil in this world, but shit, I have been known to be wrong (ask Paul).

I have a site meter on my blog to measure who's coming in and out, just for cases such as the one that happened today. I know the computer ID Addresses of my core readers. When I notice an unusual visitor, I monitor which page they viewed and so forth to gain a better understanding of why they're hittin'-up my blog. My readers are mostly family and friends, checking to see what craziness I'm up to, and I ain't tryna attract any nut jobs who are jacking off to pictures of my son or his friends. And I'm sorry to be that blunt with you all, but that's the truth of the matter about these perverted folks on the net.

And though I try to monitor my site, it's not a fool-proof system--but it did help me to catch today's glitch.

I'm not shutting anything down--YET--or taking any pictures off, but I will (I'd even remove those new voice recordings I've been doing if need be).

And yeah, if I do stop blogging in this personal and intimate fashion, I'll just have to listen to my ego complaining about not being able to chat with you all through my blog--but it'd be worth it to keep everyone safe. Friggin' perverts!


So we'll see how it goes. And hey, there's always emailing or snail mail...

Nikki-ku

I am now attempting to write Haiku. Here's my first attempt. I edited it many times before finalizing it. Don't be too harsh on me, a sista is new to it.

rain trickles down
washing dirt off stones
as ants run to hide

Friday, June 29, 2007

Oh, Crap! I've been tagged for a meme...

I've had this blog for a while and seemed to have escaped being tagged, up until today (Jeez, Thanks Craig!) So, for the first time in my blogging history, here are my random facts (Craig says I need 8).

1. When I'm working (no jokes Peanut or Paul!) I carry peanut butter and jelly to work almost everyday and never grow tired of it! Neva!

2. I eat homemade oatmeal (sometimes Irish steel cut) EVERY morning (with a few exceptions). My favorite is cooking it slow with a dash of salt, butter, grade-A-dark-amber maple syrup, brown sugar, raisins, and sunflower seeds.

3. I cook 30-minute oatmeal for about an hour and 5-minute oatmeal for about 15 minutes.

4. Before I was a mom, I'd sometimes hit the sack at 6 PM! I loved to cuddle up early and read books until falling asleep.

5. Before motherhood, I bitched about not having enough time to write (go figure), now I write more than I ever did when I had the time.

6. I only allow myself to look into the mirror once a day (twice if I'm going out at night), and that's first thing in the morning. After that, Lawd only knows what's stuck to my face or up my nose. I had a childhood friend who was so obsessed with mirrors, she'd borrow people's hand mirrors during class and then retreat to the bathroom in between classes to look at herself. Something about her insecurities helped to build my self-esteem, and I decided that all of that just wasn't worth it; I refused to sit there and overly critique the looks that God had given me--they are what they are and that's that.

7. There was a night when I had 15 shots of rum. Seriously. Now I barely drink (breastfeeding can cure you of it!), and when I do, I complain if folks are trying to get me to have a second round. Man, I'm a wimp now!

8. More and more I realize that I am more like my dad than I like to admit. Crap!

Bonus: 9. My dad works out of state a lot, and mom and I are so excited when he goes (it's the whole girls being tidier in the bathroom and kitchen issue/stereotype). But honestly, I do enjoy him when he returns home after months of being away--but I won't let him know that!

Now, I know I'm supposed to tag someone else, but I'd feel just awful doing that! (did u see how i just wore an insecurity on my sleeve, not wanting to bother anybody by tagging them!) At least I faced part of my "meme/tagging" fears by posting my own.

That's it.

I'm out!

Miss Nikki Ann (who'll face the second part of her fear later own, cause Lawd knows, what we avoid always comes back at us...)

Um, I'm really into this whole Lawd thing right now.

Ciao!

Sick with Happiness (warning: explicit material)

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Gabcast! Quotable #7 - Sick with Happiness (warning: explicit material)

Warning: Explicit! A angry essay/spoken word/performance art piece performed by Miss Nikki Ann (circa 2002)

Da Debil:The Devil (warning: explicit material)

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Gabcast! Quotable #6 - Da Debil:The Devil (warning: explicit material)

Warning: Explicit! A angry essay/spoken word/performance art piece performed by Miss Nikki Ann (circa 2002)

Allow Me to Introduce Myself (warning: explicit material)

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Gabcast! Quotable #5 - Allow Me to Introduce Myself (warning: explicit material)

Warning: Explicit! A angry essay/spoken word/performance art piece performed by Miss Nikki Ann (circa 2002)

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Due to an inquiry from e.Craig, I've decided to step out of my comfort zone (which is a place I love to reside) and show more of my ego's side. Yes, I believe that all my talk of spirit and love are important. But in order to get to that love, sometimes we must exorcise the demons.

In my twenties, I went through some funny angry phases. During that time, I had a friend say to me, "Miss Nikki Ann (yes, she did actually call me that), I don't know. I don't think it's healthy to be angry like that." Then at another time, I had an open and angelic friend who said, "Yes, sit the anger down, have tea with it, and then send it home." What I've found is that listening to my ego--not accepting the lies it tells me, just listening--has helped me to move into a more centered me; it got me in better touch with my spirit.

During those angry periods, I started writing what I called Angry Essays. My angelic friend loved them so much, and at some point I decided that I should record them and turn them into a CD. I was working in radio and thus had access to a studio where I could record these pieces for free: yippee! So I did just that and have now uploaded a few of them for your listening pleasure--and if the mood hits me, maybe I'll post more or record some newer ones, who knows...

Anywho, these pieces are dedicated to e.Craig, who wasn't afraid to ask Miss Nikki Ann about her OTHER side (ego versus love, an everyday battle). Also, e.Criag's inquiry has sparked in me a desire to create a new section of posts: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice. Obviously these will be posts that allow my ego, or someone else's, to vent out its lies. But I must ask you to remember that the things posted under Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice are of the ego, and are never to be trusted or ingested for long. For me, the spirit is the truth and the ego is just sad entertainment that can be very dangerous and harmful, unless one is willing to grow from seeing the errors of the ego's misguidance.

Also, please note that Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice will contain explicit material. This material is not meant to offend, it's only meant to shake you up a bit, rattle your nerves a little, just to keep you from getting too comfortable and set in your old ways that may not be working. Also, hell, some of this material just gives me a good laugh.

I'm Out

Miss Nikki Ann (who in her 20's wanted to be a female version of Dolemite--that mutha-fucka was da's shit!) **and so the uncomfortable moments begin...

"A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson: reading 4

Gabcast! Quotable #8 - "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson: reading 4

Miss Nikki Ann delivers a reading from Marianne Williamson's book, "A Return to Love" (Chapter Six: Relationships:Section 11, Closed Hearts )


Thirty-Ish Guide

FYI about Thirty-Ish posts:

These mini episodes are actually based on real life stories that have been told to me or I've experienced first-hand. Sometimes I may combine two or more stories to create an episode.

For example, the first episode stems from my own experience with anti-anxiety medication that my doctor prescribed for my nerves during that time of the month. At the same time, I've spoken with so many of my girlfriends who are on one type of medication or another for anxiety, depression and sleep deprivation. Although I'm cynical about those topics in my writings, these things have become a major issue for many woman AND men in America--just check-out all the commercialized prescriptions on the matter.

The second episode about the child putting his mom's toothbrush in the toilet stems from three stories. My mom once had a client who'd told her that her son used the bathroom toilet bowl brush to brush his teeth! At another time, a friend of mine said that when she was little, she used to bring her mother ice cold glasses of water, and her mom, curious one day about this delicious water, followed her child to see where she was getting it from. Of course, from the episode, we know it was from the toilet. Lastly, when Sir was one-and-a-half (in the fall of 2006), he became obsessed with toilets. Many times I caught him at OTHER people's houses playing in the toilet, soaked and wet! Yuck!

So these episodes are about real happenings that are brought to light during group sessions with a roomful of women who are in their thirties.

Welcome to Crazy World, where all the dark secrets of women living in their thirties are exposed. Don't be ashamed of eavesdropping. And leave my characters some words of advice or stories of your own. When leaving comments, don't be afraid to be firm and strong in your responses, the characters aren't real, and thus, won't respond back with any lip action.

I'm out!

Miss Nikki Ann

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Babeth

This woman has a wonderful voice: Babeth.

Wowsers!

I can't believe I got an invite to be a contributor on e.Craig's new blog. He can't possibly know how excited I was to receive it.

Thanks Craig! I love the blog (Mush and Joe Virtual Cafe) and am so excited to be apart of the experience.

Miss Nikki Ann

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson: reading 2

Gabcast! Quotable #2 - "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson: reading 2

Miss Nikki Ann delivers a reading from Marianne Williamson's book, "A Return to Love" (Chapter Six: Relationships:The Special Relationship)

Bored?

Did you find yourself feeling bored at all today?  More than likely, you felt frustrated by the boredom or confused as to whether or not to remedy it.  More than likely, you kicked yourself in the butt, deciding that this boredom signified some type of laziness within you.  You probably asked yourself: "With so much work to do, how in the heck can I be bored?"
 
Boredom is an open opportunity to connect with your true nature and the true nature of everything around you.  But because boredom makes us feel so empty, we try that space, causing us to miss the intuitions that arise during "boring" moments. 
 
We live in a fast world, and God forbid if we decide on being inactive for a few moments; inactivity means less productivity, we think to ourselves.  But really look at it.  You've probably got coworkers whom you see running around the office like chickens with their heads cut off, but not really accomplishing much.  But you, you do your work at an easy pace, BUT, take cigarette breaks, bathroom breaks, LOTS of Internet breaks and seem to accomplish just as much work as the next person.  But, notice, you couldn't just sit and give into the boredom; you felt compelled to fill that time with activity--so, in essence, you were no better than the crazy coworker running around with his or her head cutoff.
 
What I'm saying is this: boredom is an opportunity for the truth to come to mind.  If you shut up and sit long enough, sometimes things are clearer and issues are easily solved.  Did you read that?  Issues are easily resolved by doing nothing--just sitting still and letting you mind and spirit reorganize and regroup.
 
So the next time you feel boredom setting in, push back from your computer, coffee mug, chatty coworker...and give into it, even if it's just for 60 solid seconds, and you may find that miraculous things happen.  And where there's one miracle, others are sure to follow--it truly can be a chain reaction.
 
I'm out...
 
Miss Nikki Ann (who finally gave into the boredom Sunday, yesterday and today, and feels all the better for it)


You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck
in the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.

Paris Hilton is a free woman, but what about Kim?

Um...like...um...should we be happy or sad?  Hmmm...  But they kept my girl Lil' Kim locked away for the full duration of her sentence.  B-u-l-l-c-r-a-p!
 
Nothing against you, Paris.  I'm not hating.  If you're lucky to get free, then you're just lucky.  It's just plain to me that there are times when the system just doesn't work.  Lil' Kim only tried her hardest not to snitch and she got locked up; I mean, the woman didn't actually do anything to anybody, but she wasn't pardoned for her moment of stupidity--no forgiveness.  You, Paris, you keep putting people in harms way and you go home like it's nothing.  Well, it is something:  BULLSHIT!
 
Here's to all the folks who are in lockdown, lockup, incarceration, la...la...la..., but deserve to be at home chillin'.  And trust me folks, there are actually thousands who deserved a slap on the wrist, but got the Lil' Kim treatment.
 
BULL!
 
I'm out!


Bored stiff? Loosen up...
Download and play hundreds of games for free on Yahoo! Games.

In New Zealand, a couple can't name their son '4real'

New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son '4real,' saying numerals are not allowed.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby '4real' shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

'For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name,' Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. 'With this name, everyone knows what it means.'

But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.

The government office has opened negotiations with the parents about the name under a policy that says all unusual names must be given case-by-case consideration.

'The name has not at this stage been rejected,' Registrar-General Brian Clarke said in a statement Thursday. 'We are currently in discussions with the parents ... to clarify the situation.'

Clarke said the rules are designed to prevent names that are 'likely to cause offense to a reasonable person.' Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

If no compromise has been reached by July 9, the baby will be registered as 'real,' officials say.

New Zealand law requires all children born in the South Pacific nation to be registered with the Births, Deaths and Marriages registry within two months of birth."

Baby with 25 names!: Knock-out name for baby girl - Yahoo! News

Baby Autumn Brown has a name to live up - in fact she has over 25 of them.

The little girl's mother Maria, in keeping with her boxing-mad family's bizarre tradition, decided to give her 25 middle names - all culled from the greatest exponents inside the ring.

Her full name, which left register office staff in Perton, Wolverhampton reeling is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.

Her full name, which left register office staff in Perton, Wolverhampton reeling is:
Maria told the city's Express and Star: 'The whole thing came about because both my mum and dad are obsessed with boxing and have a bit of a daft sense of humour.

'When I was young I couldn't ever remember my name. It took me to the age of 10 to memorise it all.'

The 33-year-old mother added: 'I'm hoping Autumn has a good sense of humour with her name. It's never done me any harm though.'"

Monday, June 25, 2007

Miss Nikki Ann's Reading...

I'm in the middle of reading Marianne Williamson's book: A Return to Love. I read it years ago, but am finding this read to be a lot better since I have matured over the years. Here's an audio recording of a favorite and recent passage that I read. Enjoy...

Gabcast! Quotable #1 - "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson

A reading (by Miss Nikki Ann) from Marianne Williamson's "A Return to Love"

Sir and the Missing Stuff--AND NOW, The Bandaged Cut

Yesterday I found 3 missing shoes that I'd been looking for that Sir had hidden at various locations throughout the house. And now as I'm web surfing, I see him, from the corner of my eye, hiding LOTS of stuff in the couch. **Note to self: do not take eyes off Sir**

Um, as I was typing this post, Sir cut his finger on a seashell that was in his gift bag from playgroup. Blood was everywhere--thank God it didn't mess up the couch or carpet. (**Didn't I tell myself NOT to take my eyes off him?**) Each day he's wearing a bandage for one reason or another. Geez....

The Joost

someone actually sent me a Joost invite last night (if u believe, u can receive. LOL!). i'll let you all know how it goes. yea!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Thirty-Ish: Part Two

The setting: A roomful of 30-something-year-old women.

Action: Linda stands up, wringing her hands.

Dialogue: Hi, my name is Linda, I'm 30-ish, welcome to the world of crazy. For weeks now, my 4-year-old had kindly been bringing me my toothbrush every morning, right after I get out of bed. And this morning I reallly had to go to the potty...um...I mean, bathroom, so I couldn't wait on him. As I walked into the bathroom, I caught him gently swooshing my toothbrush around in the toilet bowl before applying the toothpaste. (**Linda turns and faces Miss Nikki Ann**) And yes, Miss Nikki Ann, I am on Prozac and have a tendency to share my medications with any needy mom. Call me if you need to, girl. And tell your father I said great job on letting Sir run like a crazy person into a road that could have easily been filled with racing cars and ice cream trucks.

To be continued...

Click here to go to Thirty-Ish: Part One

Once again...

Twitter.com

or...

http://twitter.com/MissNikkiAnn

lately i've been doing lots of random updates on twitter because it's much easier since i can text the messages from my phone (it's a touch task trying to find time to turn on the computer to post to my blog while keeping up with The Sir). so be sure to scroll through my twitter messages that are posted here on the blog to the left, after the about me section (or go to my twitter page, which is also listed above). i think i'm almost up to 70 posts on twitter. amazing, since it's only been a few days. but, it's only my new addiction; i can't wait to see how long i'll be obsessed with it before i move on to the next...

***miss nikki ann is trying to make JOOST.com her next addiction, but is having a hard time finding someone to give her an invite (sad that you need an invite to get in). if anyone has an extra invite or knows of anyone who does, hook a sista up! dang!

Dad and The Sir

I was coming out of a relaxing shower when I heard my dad yelling for Sir to get out of the street. I ran to the window and spotted my 2-year-old running down the friggin' center of the road--half-naked without any shoes. Once my dad caught up to him--cause that little bugger can run--and I saw that he was safe, I ran to get my camera. I took a few shots of them from my bedroom window as they walked back into the yard.

Later, my dad had the nerve to tell me that I was gonna have to teach him about not running into the street. Of course I was quick to correct him and let him know that Sir doesn't do that when he's with me--as if I'd go through all the struggles and bedrest I went through to have that baby just to let him kill himself in the middle of a street. I don't think so. Foolishness. But here are the pics...








A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

"Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we are angry at people, we are angry because of something they said or did before this moment. But what people said or did is not who they are. Relationships are reborn as we let go perceptions of our brother's past. By bringing the past into the present, we create a future just like the past. By letting the past go, we make room for miracles."

--Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Touching

This was a forwarded email that I received from a friend. Attached to the email was a video that was so breathtaking that I couldn't tear myself away from it. Feel free to read the email below, or just go right to the link and view the video.

Miss Nikki Ann

Click here to go straight to the video, it may take a minute to load, but it's well worth the wait.

"I received this email from a co-worker and you guys have got to read and see the attached slide show.
Sensitive Sally's get ready to cry and fellas take notes! PLEASE click on the link at the bottom...
the pictures and the music are BEAUTIFUL!!

Robert Gray, Jr. asked all of his nearest friends and his parents and his girlfriends
parents to come into Atlanta and he paid for all of them to spend the
night at the Ritz their in Atlanta . He told his girlfriend, who is now
his fiancé, that they were going to a formal affair at the Ritz. You
will notice in the video that they are both dressed for a formal event.
When they got there he had all of his male friends gathered in one room
and he asked them to interview his girlfriend(so to speak). They were
allowed to ask her questions that they felt would provide answers to
reassure them & him that she is the one for him. Then he had each of
his male friends to join their wives in their individual rooms and each
couple prayed with them (he & his girlfriend) separately. He also had
an envelope in each of the rooms with the individual couples. The
envelopes touched upon different aspects of their future together.

Then he took his girlfriend into the room where they greeted his parents and
then into a room where they greeted her parents and there he asked her
parents for her hand in marriage. Lastly, he took her into a separate
room and formally proposed to her (AWESOME). From there they joined all
of their very immediate family and friends in a room where they
celebrated his proposal to her (their engagement).

Robert is a graduate of Southern University (Q-dog) and is now an
accountant with Home Depot at their corporate office in Atlanta . My
understanding is that he financially footed the bill for this weekend
himself. It was not supplemented by his parents. I was told that he
moved in with his sister for approx. 6mos. and saved the money to pay
for the engagement ring and all of the bells and whistles for this very
special evening.

IT IS LENGTHY BUT WORTH VIEWING. HOPEFULLY, YOU WILL ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS
I DID."

http://www.blogger.com/www.photosbyknight.com/gray/

Another Thursday

I've got Laya and Sir with me, and we're expecting Aaron to arrive any minute now. It should be a fun and BUSY-as-heck day. I plan on bringing them to see Aunt Theldra and Uncle Robert Earl.

I hope everyone is well. My internet was down yesterday, but that forced me to do some well-needed reading. Must go now. Toddlers are everywhere.

Sir and Laya's Big Day

Monday, June 18, 2007

Nikki


Aaron and Sir's Big Adventure

Last week Sir's buddy Aaron came over for the afternoon while his mom (who has a newborn) took advantage of the free time and went grocery shopping. The two had a fabulous time doing yard work and playing. They went on a wheelbarrow ride around the corner to visit with Aunt Theldra and Uncle Robert Earl, but we had to entice Aaron with Oreo cookies to convince him to enter their house. After the sugar rush, the boys played in Aunt Theldra's backyard. Aaron was determined that he should tackle Sir over and over again, while Sir cried for help. Sir seems to believe it's okay for him to tackle other folks, but he doesn't like it when they return the favor. After the visit, we headed back to our house and had lunch, then, Aaron's mom arrived with her newborn in tow, and we took everyone next door to the park. I think the boys had a fun afternoon. And I'll tell ya', two is better than one, this way they entertain each other. Sir's other buddy, Miss Kalaya, will be coming over two days this week. And I'm sure that if he pushes and tackles her, she'll be sure to return the favor. Here's to girl power!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Boo-hoo

I had a nice cry today. I'm going through a period where my feelings are easily hurt. I'm forgetting to remember that the things people say and do have nothing to do with me, that it's only a reflection of their own issues. And the sad part? It wasn't a hard cry--just a long and sobby one, which tells me that I'm due for one of those really ugly, fallout crying sessions; I see it coming, and actually I'm looking forward to having it so that I can go ahead and get over myself.

I try so hard to be open to people and their myriad of issues. In trying so hard, I often don't accept the fact that just because I try really hard to accept their issues, it doesn't mean that they will return the same favor. And what does that make me? It makes me a "poor me" type. Oh poor little Nikki, her feelings are hurt because people won't accept her the way she is. More than likely you'll find that few people will accept you exactly as you are. I've decided that only God can do it 100%. After God, I find that my immediate family members are an extension of that, with my mom, dad, Peanut, and Sir being the best at it (Sir because he doesn't know any better yet). Ya' see, I think parents have this hard task of accepting the fact that no matter how hard they work on raising their children, they will still be their weird little individual selves. And my brother's pretty good at accepting all of my craziness, except that I know there are moments when he's wondering what planet I came from. But siblings are also forced into accepting you because they know that no matter what, they can't change the fact that you were born to the same people. As they say, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose what weirdo of a brother you get (yes, that's a mean-spirited, yet loving, shot at Peanut!).

After my breakdown, I walked over and gave my mother a long hug--I barely wanted to let go of her soft skin. I told how much I appreciate her accepting me, even when she may not understand me--my mother always has my back. And I must note that my dad is amazing. I feel safe saying that he's totally, utterly, and foolishly in love with me. I'm living life in ways that he dreams--he does live through me. And guess what, I too live through someone...Sir. He has tendencies and personality traits that I'm way too afraid to try out. That dude lives life out loud and doesn't give a shit, and I'm trying my hardest not to break his lively spirit out of my own fears and society's bullshit.

The rebel in me wants to say: "Fuck what people think."

But the wise woman in me says: "But God...but God."

And for those who don't get that But God thing, I don't have the time to explain it. Just picture a southern black slave picking cotton in the motherfuckin' heat after being raped by massah the night before, and then she sighs, "But God...but God." Got it?

I seem to have lost so many things. Material and financial goods. The more I lose the more I am forced to trust God. That trust deepens everyday and leads me to do more things that I'm proud of. And there's no amount of money or lavish and pretty things that will make God proud of me. There's no amount of education or degrees or training that will make God proud of me. Each day I am being forced more and more to accept that what's physical can't surpass what's spiritual. I am humbled. And I am almost sure (almost because I can't say for sure what God and I will come up with next) that I will continue to lose more material things. And when my Job Syndrome ends, I hope to be all the wiser and spiritually richer for the journey. Until then, I'm enjoying the freedom that poverty is providing (yes, society would, and does, label me as poor). You'd be amazed how free you feel when money isn't an issue because there just ain't any.

But God...but God.

Miss Nikki Ann

Friday, June 15, 2007

Me & The Sir

Yahoo! Avatars


I spent a good 30 minutes pushing Sir on a swing today at the park. The weather was beautiful and my company was insatiable (he would have stayed on that swing all day if I'd let him). Afterward, we went for a walk around the neighborhood and spoke with some folks. It was a quiet morning for Sir, but then he spent his afternoon and evening fussing at me about not paying him enough attention, as if being pushed on that flippin' swing until my arm almost went numb wasn't enough attention for one day. You can't please these kids!

Last tidbit: Miss Nikki Ann did not look that cute at the park. Try picturing me in need of a haircut and eyebrow waxing, wearing wrinkled jeans and a shirt that Sir had probably dirtied with his sticky little hands. Now that's living in the real world!

Shout out to Deb for the wonderfully jaded "bitch-fest" we had.

The Sir

Since he turned two last month, what's Sir been up to? Aside from failing at charming me with this look...


He's been pushing his little friends around, like this...




Actually, these pics are a little old. The top ones are from the fall and the last one is about two months old, so he's made lots of progress with his pushing (sadly enough, most of his victims are little people). But toddlers are funny beings, they tend to progress and regress quite often. So I'll just say that TODAY he hasn't hit or pushed anyone.
To be continued...

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Eating Off the Floor: The 5-second rule--busted?

For those with little ones around, this should give you comfort in those moments when you just didn't catch it before it went into their little mouths! LOL! Hey, as children, LuCiana and I used to sing God made dirt and dirt don't hurt before kissing the dropped item, blowing on it, and then presenting it in the air for God to bless and cleanse. And look, we're still alive--atleast, I think we're still breathing.

Click here to see news video...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

It is said that...


It is said that...

"There is no failure in being human. It does not matter if you waste your life, or you use your life appropriately, Whatever you are choosing to do is just fine. There are no mistakes, there are no failures. There is nothing you can do wrong. The essences of wrong was given to you as a limitation; as was the frequency of death to limit you and bind you in fear. In the Orient they bind the feet. In some cultures they bind the head, in others they bind the heart. Cut away all things that bind you and no longer serve you." - Gillian MacBeth-Louthan

"The Secret" is based upon the concept that thoughts are things. Change your thoughts, and you change your world. This is true, but for most people, changing your thoughts can be challenging. First of all, what ARE your thoughts? Can you differentiate between your thoughts and the thoughts you have absorbed from your parents, peers, and society? Who are YOU in the process?" - Janet D. Swerdlow, "Law of Attraction: Beyond the Secret"

"We are entrained in second-hand desires that aren't necessarily our own desires. Bogged and mired in emotions of guilt, shame, servitude, sorrow, separation, despair that carry their own vibration. Nearly every child grows up buying hook, line, and sinker into collective beliefs of sin, sickness, and death so that what to date we've been creating on Earth is pretty much war, pollution and blight. " -Evelyn Rodriguez

""Getting to heaven" will no longer be the ultimate purpose in life. Creating heaven wherever you are will be seen as the prime objective. To experience this, people will not have to confess any sins or fast during daylight hours or travel on pilgrimages or go to places of worship weekly or tithe regularly or perform any particular ritual or act - although they may choose to do any of these things if it pleases them..." - Neale Donald Walsh, What God Wants

Monday, June 11, 2007

Edith shouldn't have to be a nanny

I love this woman's truth.

(FYI: Miss Nikki Ann believes each person has their own individual set of truths. And they create a reality based on those truths. Change those truths, and you change their reality. But that's just MY truth. And whether or not I appreciate someone else's truth doesn't matter, either way, their truth will still exist. Blah...Blah...and more Blah...Yadda, yadda, yadda...)

Here's the link (I'm out!):

Edith shouldn't have to be a nanny

Thirty-Ish: Part One

The Setting: A roomful of 30-something-year-old women.

Action: Miss Nikki Ann raises her hand and stands up.

Dialogue: "Hi, my name is Miss Nikki Ann. I'm 30-ish. Welcome to the world of crazy. And why in the hell didn't anyone in the room tell me they were on Adapin, Allegron, Celexa, Cymbalta, Lexapro, Lorazepam, Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zispin, Coffee, Cigarettes...?"

To be continued...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Baby Pics on the Net: Public or Private? : Dory Devlin : Yahoo! Tech

Just a little something for you to ponder. Sometimes I do post pictures of Sir, but I try to remember NOT to include his real name with any pictures or in any of my blog posts (especially since he has unique first, last, and middle names that can be easily found with a search engine). I've also been trying to practice this when it comes to mentioning friends and family members (referring to my brother as "Peanut," my sister-in-law as Tee Tee, calling my neighbors "Neighbor" or "Man Up The Street," and so forth). But sometimes I may slip and put in the real name by mistake. Hey, I think we all try our best, but unfortunately, as a Lieutenant told me at a recent Police Department meeting: "When it's your day to be the victim, it's just your day. There's only so much you can do about it." It's sad, but it's a truth that prevails.

Baby Pics on the Net: Public or Private? : Dory Devlin : Yahoo! Tech

Saturday, June 02, 2007

My Truth: It's Still Me

No matter how it all went, when I wake, I'll still be me. And if that isn't enough? There ain't a thing I--or anyone else--can do about it.

Miss Nikki Ann

Yahoo! Answers - Why does grass smell only when it's being mowed?

Yahoo! Answers - Why does grass smell only when it's being mowed?

"Dipping? Quitting?" by Jennifer Louden

I love to visit Jennifer's page for her refreshing honesty and insight. This is a post I stumbled upon today:


"Seth Godin has a new book out, The Dip, reviewed brilliantly here by Andy Wibbel.


I want to read Seth's book because I'm fascinated by the people I meet who share a blearily stunned expression while muttering, "Wait a minute. I'm living my dream and it's not all rosey. I'm still struggling. I still get burned out, disappointed or even fail! By definition, I didn't think that could happen."

As more and more of us have taken the plunge to live more authentically and to follow our hearts, thus often striking out to work for ourselves so that we don't have to cut ourselves into little pieces working for "the man," more and more of us are realizing, "Whoops, that doesn't mean happily ever after."

If you think nobody could be that naive, you'll have to call me Pollyanna because I certainly believed, FOR YEARS, that doing what I loved for my living conveyed upon me a kind of super girl protection, which included, but was not limited to, never being bored, never burning out, and never wondering if my life had any meaning.

It took a whole lot of dips to learn that there is no Omega point! There is no place to get to. That's what makes me queasy about The Secret--to me, and this may be me, well, of course it's me, but can you see my point?-- the line of thinking in that movie enforces a "get there and get it and then live happily ever after." And if you don't? Then you didn't do it right.

Thoughts on what it is like to live your dream? Or what dips have been part of living your dream?"